About the zombie thing

Tis true. The zombies came. Yet thou hath not been touched by the "lady of the night", the whore. Whose face says virgin and vagina says liar! Thou art still as pure as water with an arse load of dirty innuendos. For I was not present at the attack. Thou art scared shitless of zombies. However! I called upon my forces from the other side, the living dead, sir M. Hedberg. He hath posed as me throughout the adventure. I apologize for thy trickery. Doth not say you love me no more, for I prosper in the educational institution of the longest beach and dabble in the splendid magical Kingdom of the orangest of counties awaiting our reunion.